A Change of Beliefs

"The lawyer had never thought that the matter of his wife's virginity was important to him, but now he learned that it was, more so than anything else in the world. He remembered how he'd always told his friends that he pitied all those Arab men who said they would never date a girl who had a boyfriend. What an idiot he had been then, during those conversations, and what an idiot he was now. Only recently he had sat with a friend, the account, and laughed at him for saying that he was worried about the Arab-Jewish education he was giving his daughter because he was afraid that as she approached puberty she would think, like the Jews, that it was only natural to have sex before marriage. The lawyer could not say why his opinions and beliefs, the things he had thought to be a result of his nature, had changed so rapidly." (Kashua, at 45% in e-book).

This paragraph is an example of how deep-seated beliefs can become - to the point where maybe they are not even recognizable to the holder anymore. They may even be covered, hidden. In this case, there are a number of reason why the 'lawyer' might have changed his opinions.

Firstly, it might be that he had never actually had a different opinion at all - living in Jerusalem amongst Jews, he may have felt the need to be progressive, open, and liberal. Maybe he even thought that he held these beliefs; but, this might never have been actually true. It is difficult to truly divide oneself from the beliefs of those who you identify with. For the lawyer, he might have alway, deep down, held conservative beliefs.

It may be that he is conflicted - he is open and liberal about others, but cannot stand the thought of his own wife not being a virgin. This is obviously a hypocritical stance to have, but a popular one nonetheless. It is easier to judge others than to apply the same standards to yourself.

Lastly, it might just be that the lawyer is overwhelmingly angry and is, therefore, lashing out, albeit internally, in a certain manner. He feels betrayed by his wife, believing that she is cheating on him, so things that did not matter before suddenly became a substantive issue that unnerves him. He was her to be killed, to leave his life - or at least that's what he thinks at the time. Anger produces many reactions that may not actually be the real truth. For the lawyer, it is possible that he is feeling an inner turmoil that is causing this chaotic nature of thoughts.